AQUARIUS: (JAN23-FEB22)

You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

PISCES: (FEB23-MAR22)

You are a pioneer type an think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

ARIES (MAR 23-APRIL 22)

You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. you lack confidence and generally are a dipshit.

TAURUS (APRIL 23-MAY22)

You are practical and persistant. you have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most poeple think you are stuborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddaamned communist.

GEMINI (MAY23-JUNE22)

You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are sexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER (june23-july 22)

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems, which makes you a sucker.You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a cancer.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG 22)

You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and connot tolerate critism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo People are thieving motherfuckers that enjoy masterbation more than sex.

VIRGO (AUG 23- SEPT 22)

You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good busdrivers and pimps.

LIBRA: (SEPT 23-OCT 22)

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are male you are probably Queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venerial disease.

SCORPIO: (OCT 23-NOV 22)

You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS: (NOV23-DEC22)

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You are a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.

CAPRICORN: (DEC23-JAN22)

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. Ther has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.