An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams. “Don’t worry about that,” says St. Peter, “it’s only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings.”

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more bloodcurdling screams. “Oh my goodness,” says the old lady, “now what is happening?”

“Not to worry,” says St.Peter, “they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo.”

“I can’t do this,” says the old lady, “I’m off down to hell.”

“You can’t go there,” says St. Peter, “You’ll be raped and sodomized.”

“Yes” says the old lady, “but I’ve already got the holes for that”

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